Smite - [Console] Patch Day Discussion and Bug Report Megathread - 5.3: "Hero of the Trojan War" |
- [Console] Patch Day Discussion and Bug Report Megathread - 5.3: "Hero of the Trojan War"
- Comic - Why I don't play Zhong Kui anymore.
- [Skin Concept] GenieDusa
- Achilles? Do you mean... AGNI.
- I want a relationship as strong as Anatoliy's hair product.
- Console is a complete mess.
- Poor state of console in 5.3
- Console matters?
- Lore of the Gods told horribly
- A unexpected realization thanks to Fortnite and why Smite should copy this feature wholesale.
- Jungle Practice should get free Skin boosters every time.
- So, any plan on fixing meditation giving 30 mana instead of 30% ?
- Necessary additions to console VGS
- I think I’m done.
- when you just wanna give her the scythe but her man says no
- When you release the patch on consoles and remember everything but the new God.
- Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% Endgame DPS Builds
- Can we fix aphro's kiss?
- Console is absolutely wrecked in 5.3
- 'Erradicator' Osiris - Skin Concept
- 2600 gold for Rod of Asclepius is too Goddamn High
- Mixer vs Twitch
- Show Guan Yu some Love.
- Why is the Legendary God Pack available for those who have a part of the bundle without having any discounts on it?
- [Random Silliness] Sobek Summons Me Back to Smite
- Which god made you fall in love with smite?
| [Console] Patch Day Discussion and Bug Report Megathread - 5.3: "Hero of the Trojan War" Posted: 06 Mar 2018 06:41 AM PST https://www.smitegame.com/news/hero-of-the-trojan-war-5-3-pc-update-notes Skins
Item Balance
God Balance
[link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Comic - Why I don't play Zhong Kui anymore. Posted: 06 Mar 2018 12:30 PM PST
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 06:53 PM PST
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Achilles? Do you mean... AGNI. Posted: 06 Mar 2018 03:19 PM PST Console SMITE can't play Achilles right now so everyone is trying to insta lock him but end up as Agni. Then quietly rage, then leave. It's hilarious. It's happened like 7 times already and I'm not even mad. Just thought it was a funny thing to happen. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I want a relationship as strong as Anatoliy's hair product. Posted: 06 Mar 2018 08:36 AM PST
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 12:29 PM PST Every single patch without fail bugs go away and new bugs arise and then you've got OLD bugs that are still with us after years of updates. We were promised better transparency and QA with console a few weeks back and it genuinely feels like we're constantly left in the dark. 6 hours for a patch today all for everyone to find out Achilles isn't actually in the game is pretty garbage and anyone who sways into the whole 'be grateful' mindset is dumbfounded. Let's not forget people (including myself) put MONEY into buying team badges and still haven't received my wards and others haven't received their loading frames either. Can we actually please have more communication when it comes to console patches please, it's getting tedious now. Edit: There's actually no excuse for how today's patch went, just to clarify smite will always be my favourite game. When you're passionate about something you want to see it thrive. So many people have voiced their opinions, bugs effecting gameplay, money being spent on items and not receiving them etc. Please give us a fucking response or some communication on things we constantly speak about. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 10:00 AM PST I don't want to be that guy, but... ... console was offline for almost 6 hours, the new god isn't her and they broke half the adventure.... Why does this happen, do they test patches on an actual console? [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 03:54 PM PST "We are going to make console better this season!" Insert epic fail on patch [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Lore of the Gods told horribly Posted: 06 Mar 2018 10:07 AM PST Achilles: Man leads a bunch of other men into war, and said man dies like most of the other men. Agni: guy tries to make a fire and gets a Siamese twin instead. Ah Muzen Cab: A bee exists and survives the end of the world Ah Puch: Old man drags people into the middle of the forest and kills them Amaterasu: Spoiled brat locks herself in her room to everyone's detriment Anhur: Cat man is born from a bird and keeps a rope around his wife's neck. Anubis: Jackal judges all of mankind Ao Kuang: He's a Dragon that gets beat up by a child and a monkey. Aphrodite: She starts a war by selling a woman for an apple Apollo: Cow Herder takes up music lessons and driving the sun Arachne: Girl angers gods and gets punished Ares: Bastard makes more Bastards and wishes to kill everything Artemis: Virgin curses men for staring at her Artio: She's a woman who is also a bear Athena: She knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. Awilix: Girl likes Jaguars a little too much. Bacchus: Man likes wine a little too much. Bakasura: Demon eats a lot Bastet: She's a cat that fights a snake Bellona: Girl fights wars Cabrakan: Guy who crushes mountain succumbs to food poisoning Camazotz: He's a giant F****** Bat Cerberus: Siamese Tripplet Dog who guards the Underworld Cernunnos: Guy with Horns is one with the Seasons Chaac: Man dooms the world to high fructose corn syrup Chang'e: Woman disobeys her man and gets sent to the moon Chiron: Immortal Horse man gets fatally wounded Chronos: Time... is Time Cu Chulainn: The original Hulk Cupid: Little kid makes people make love Da Ji: Woman gets possessed by a fox and becomes a dominatrix Discodia: Woman uses an apple to start a war Erlang Shen: Son of a God saves the world Fafnir: Greedy dwarf turns into a dragon Fenrir: Wolf eats EVERYTHING Freya: Nice lady prepares for the end of the world Ganesha: Elephant removes obstacles for the good and places them for the wicked Geb: The world gets separated from the sky Guan Yu: Man is so loyal to his leader people worshiped him as a saint Hachiman: Woman decides how and when her child is born Hades: Last one out of the belly gets screwed He Bo: A river is in awe of the Sea Hel: Girl who did nothing wrong is trapped in Hel...heim... Hercules: Child of god saves the world Hou Yi: God saves all humanity several times and only ever gets screwed over. Hun Batz: Guy gets turned into a monkey for being mean to a "god" (was xbalanque and his brother gods at the time?) Isis: Woman gives her man one of the best prosthetic in history. Izanami: Woman gets screwed over by childbirth and her husband Janus: God plays portal too much Jing Wei: Girl drowns herself and refuses to take responsibility so she tries to kill the Sea she drowned herself in. Kali: A God looks at something funny and Kali kills that something Khepri: Dung beetle resurrects a bird. Kukulkan: Winged Snake controls wind Kumbhakarna: Guy wishes to sleep and gets his wish Kuzenbo: Kappa Loki: Guy who plays tricks gets punished, but inevitably gets the last laugh Medusa: God makes love to her against her will and she gets turned into a monster Mercury: Messenger whose gotta go fast Ne Zha: Boy gets reborn from flowers Neith: Girl weaves the world Nemesis: Blind girl judges everyone Nike: Girl brings victory, shoe maker profits Nox: Night creates death and vengeance Nu Wa: Snake Girl kills a turtle to make a pillar Odin: Man hangs himself to gain knowledge Osiris: Gods who doesn't die when he is killed... (or maybe he did die since he's trapped in the underworld?) Poseidon: Middle child throws tantrums and creates earthquakes Ra: Bird dies and is reborn each day so we get sunlight Raijin: Women get scorch marks because he can't keep his buddy in line Rama: God becomes man and starts killing demons Ratatoskr: Troll squirrel speeds up the end of the world Ravana: Guy cuts his head off 10 times and is rewarded with immortality and near invincibility Scylla: Girl likes eating Sea Men Serqet: Scorpion heals people Skadi: Girl loses her family, but finds a new family in the murderers of her old one Sobek: Crocodile eats people Sol: Literally the Sun Sun Wukong: Monkey becomes immortal... like 4-5 times and pisses off Buddha Susano: Guy pisses of his sister but makes it up by giving her his sword Sylvanus: Old man loves a young boy (in some versions of the myth) Terra: Literally the Earth Thanatos: He doesn't kill people, but he does cause them to die The Morrigan: Three woman, One goddess Thor: Smashes his enemies with a hammer, smashes himself with alcohol Thoth: Bird man likes books Tyr: Man really wants people to know "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" Ullr: Man is generally a good guy who can ski Vamana: God is reborn as a man that likes to step on demons Vulcan: A cripple is loved only for the jewelry he made Xbalanque: Guy saves the world with his twin brother and win through Deus Ex Machina Xing Tian: Guy doesn't die when he is decapitated Ymir: Giant dies, melts, and we get the world Zeus: Kid kills his father and then shares his love to all the women of the world Zhong Kui: He so ugly that ghosts and demons run away from him. and now to pray that none of these gods actually exist. Edit: Fixed hades [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| A unexpected realization thanks to Fortnite and why Smite should copy this feature wholesale. Posted: 06 Mar 2018 05:11 AM PST So before your downvote, please read. I've always had a problem with things blending together in games. Hard to see health bars, etc. I wrote it off as fatigue or something else, until I recently decided to play Fortnite. I was editing my setting and decided to check out the accessibility tab and found the colorblind modes. Since it wasn't like other games, just a name, but a name and picture. I decided to play with it. I was blown away when I couldn't see the lama's in a few of the circles but could when set to Deuteranope. As it turns out, yeah, I'm colorblind and it's thanks to Fortnite I discovered this with a simple image test that piqued my curiosity. Now I see better in Fornite and Smite. I can only imagine what other games this will improve for me. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but it's literally changed how I play games, something I've been doing for 20 years. Here's an image of the test they have: https://i.imgur.com/cc7zcjY.png So, yeah, this would be nice to have in Smite. I know they have the option but actually having the test there really makes a difference. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jungle Practice should get free Skin boosters every time. Posted: 06 Mar 2018 03:07 PM PST Not to use for later, just for that Jungle Practice session to test out skins. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| So, any plan on fixing meditation giving 30 mana instead of 30% ? Posted: 06 Mar 2018 07:12 PM PST Happens in assault, probably in other modes too but since everyone gets it in assault, it happens more often. Always one team, so we get a total of 150 mana while the other team gets 150%. Hirez, how about you get a QA team? [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Necessary additions to console VGS Posted: 06 Mar 2018 11:56 AM PST
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 07:44 PM PST Long Rant kinda? Let me start of by saying I'm not quiting smite I'm a random guy no one cares if I quit anyway. So I was debating this for awhile also debating whether I should even put it on reddit or not. But I think after this patch maybe there are people who feel the same. So I started smite S2 on pc then my pc had issues so I switched over to PS4 missed the chance to link my account lost all my season 2 skins. RIP T5 Thor. This being said I am a horrible fat whale. To the point if anything comes out I will throw money on the game to buy it hiRez has probably gotten $2000+ out of me alone. This being said I think I'm done supporting them. This patch no not just this patch but everything that's been happening with them has seemed so unprofessional imo. Let's start off by the patch this patch broke so many things, things that don't even make sense on how they broke since you never touched them in this patch? Announcer packs being completely busted adventure having issues etc I could list them all but there are 2 big reddit posts with people complaining so I won't. I am not gonna act like I'm a game designer and I know what bugs are and how to fix them etc. but when other games have bugs they actually get fixed. On console it feels like the bugs are in so long that just feels like how the game is. The whole chuk blaming dataminer guy was just absolutely ridiculous. Don't blame a guy who loves your game over bugs that the team should be fixing. People have a choice to look at datamining if they want he is not forcing them. I feel chuk is a great artist and has a lot of talent but throwing skulls on every skin is a little irritating. The Change skin that just came out great good that had no skins and it was dark that's fine you can have dark skins and not have skulls and pentagrams on all of them. I don't prefer cutest skins or anime skins I like skins in general. And I feel like the pentagram skulls are just being overly reused to the fucking maximum. Chest prices Raising the prices of chests didn't affect me very much as I'm a whale but my friends and buddies started coming back and couldn't even begin to understand why chests where going up in price. They soon quit again sadly. I could go on and on here but I think I' just hit the point where I'm done after the last 5000 gems are gone from my account I will not be supporting this game anymore. Tired of the bugs tired of the reused skin ideas (especially when we have so many great looking fan skins). Tired of the console abuse. I will still be playing as I do love smite as a game but doesn't mean I have to spend any more money on it. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| when you just wanna give her the scythe but her man says no Posted: 06 Mar 2018 06:41 AM PST
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| When you release the patch on consoles and remember everything but the new God. Posted: 06 Mar 2018 08:52 PM PST
 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% Endgame DPS Builds Posted: 06 Mar 2018 04:57 AM PST Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% Endgame DPS Builds Please note: I am building all hunters for fastest DPS of auto attacks only by activating steroids first then firing 4 basic attacks (except Chiron's Masterful Shot that you can use it after the first auto attack). Also, builds are not listed in build order, just a list of all 6 items. So, the theory behind all of the math below, is based on endgame burst of an enemy. Most of the spreadsheets below are set at 60 physical protections, where a majority of the squishiest physical protection gods reside. The range for squishes (Mages, Assassins, Hunters) is 52-75. I did do a couple sheets at 100 protections to see how the added protections effect the builds. The method of testing is using all hunters steroids as much as possible as well as if they did not have access to their steroids. If you see the god name without a steroid listed, then it is not included. The steroids that are not included in any of the tests are:
For items, Qin Sai's passive is at 3% unless otherwise noted. Wind Demon is not included as rng on crit would make it hard to get a stable answer that would be consistent. Now, we can test different parameters and looking at the hunter steroids, I have chosen 4 basic attacks which the damage is added and multiplied by the attack speed. There are 2 types of tests that force 0 percent critical chance so people can see if bad rng might favor better builds as well as 50 percent critical chance (first 2 attacks are crits, last 2 are not) to see if building more than 50 percent critical chance as any merit. So here is the list of spreadsheets: Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% (No Crit Asi) DPS Builds: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PhyABE4eirNo1uecT-VeAvncJr2FW9-HArEM1EMyvKY/edit?usp=sharing Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% (50% Crit Asi) DPS Builds: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ipxEYk2y_qh_qJ2edtvtO0OVJoryxItfYu5JsgXARjY/edit?usp=sharing Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% (No Crit Devos) DPS Builds: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1H53K1pA8gCJMxPaCHpZmLtw5d_eQXV2QoZu5Cy5KyKY/edit?usp=sharing Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% (50% Crit Devos) DPS Builds: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1eAaje5MsyvDJZUOBRol66zAH6vZRo58xBt3kFaiEOSI/edit?usp=sharing Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% (No Crit Single Lifesteal 100 Protections) DPS Builds: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1gzVxqbFG6UOATHv5krBD--D7ay1zeYAgs9BKGZ9aZPs/edit?usp=sharing Smite 5.3 Physical ADC Top 10% (No Crit Single Lifesteal Max Qin Sais Passive 100 Protections) DPS Builds: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/16KglsE3DblcFIxt9ACcnRwfnF4cPW5alX-27pzI--DA/edit?usp=sharing So what conclusions can we make? A good cheap, very effective build is Ninja Tabi, Odysseus' Bow, Asi, Transcendence, The Executioner, Qin's Sais. For 600 more gold, switch out Asi for Devourer's Gauntlet if you prefer double stacking. Atalanta's bow can be effective if you want the stats it provides, you can switch out Odysseus' Bow for it. The Crusher can take the place of Transcendence or The Exeuctioner for ability based hunters and the benefit of it over The Executioner is the penetration is front loaded on your first auto attacks and you do not have to wait for the penetration shred of Executioner. When it comes to crit, building more than 1 crit item may not be a good idea unless you can get past the rng gods and hit more than 50% of the time with crits. Deathbringer is your choice and swap it out for Odysseus' Bow or either The Executioner / Qin Sais. With all these builds, the "recommended" one is the cheapest at 13,000 gold and will help you against squishes and tanks at the same time. Now as far as Bloodforge and Soul Eater, the builds cost more and dps wise they are not worth it in my opinion, so I would build those only if the passive of these items are better for your game scenario. So with that, who is the best endgame burst hunter. Below is a "tier" list that groups each burst test by percentage from the top. Now obviously the steroid builds win, but its curious to see how a hunter that has a steroid really can make the difference. Xbalanque has the easiest steroid that is always on but is the worst hunter if he is out of mana:
[link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 03:10 PM PST it's terrible in season 5. All these jungle fights in small corridors, pretty much impossible to stun without hitting another ally and reassigning the link instead. Feel like her utility in fights is way down. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Console is absolutely wrecked in 5.3 Posted: 06 Mar 2018 04:36 PM PST Since the new update, in the 'Gods' tab none of my skins show as me owning them - or any of the gods, until I get in a game. Did you guys even let QA test the patch? [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Erradicator' Osiris - Skin Concept Posted: 06 Mar 2018 05:24 PM PST Hi everyone. This time I bring you a 80's action movie tribute in form of a skin for Osiris. More specifically, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Terminator franchise. This one took a lot of time to make, but I think the end result is pretty cool. I even made a list of voice lines for the voice pack, based on quotes from Arnold Schwarzenegger movies (I can share with you, if you are interested). https://necrofearpt.deviantart.com/art/SMITE-Erradicator-Osiris-human-final-734254136 https://necrofearpt.deviantart.com/art/SMITE-Erradicator-Osiris-bot-final-734253880 Here's my suggestions for how would the skin work in game: Basic Attacks - His flail was replaced by a shotgun, and the sickle replaced with a plasma rifle. The 1st and 2nd hits of Osiris' attack chain would be a melee strike with the shotgun and a swipe with the plasma blade attached to the rifle. The 3rd and 4th hits, which are AOE, would be replaced with firing the guns. Passive - Everytime Osiris uses an ability, a part of his body burns away, exposing the metal endoskeleton beneath the skin (see link below). Skill 1 - Osiris fires a green plasma bolt from his plasma rifle. The target hit with this ability, will have a green flame visual effect for the duration of the ability. Skill 2 - Osiris aims his shotgun to sky, as the sound of a shotgun pump plays. Osiris then fires the shotgun, causing an helicopter/drone to crash at the target location. Skill 3 - The mummy wraps would be replaced by green plasma filaments, similar to what you see in plasma globes. Skill 4- Osiris jumps with rocket boosters on the sole of his feet, as we hear the shotgun pumping and the plasma rifle charging. Osiris then fires both guns at point blank upon landing, causin an explosion of green light, that burns away all remaining human-like body parts, exposing the whole endoskeleton. Thank you, and please, share your thoughts! Transformation with the passive: http://fav.me/dc55m6w [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2600 gold for Rod of Asclepius is too Goddamn High Posted: 06 Mar 2018 03:06 PM PST For reference - Asclepius costs 50 less gold than Warlocks, and 100 less than Gem and Estaff. Not only would you never buy Asclepius over these three items, but as a healer based item, you likely won't even pick this item up unless you are about 3 gods. The item basically sucks. It costs too much, doesnt give much power, and has a passive that isn't worth even considering on other than a few gods - not to mention, this item's passive will be eventually countered once the other team has anti heal. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 08:56 AM PST Now I realize this is gonna warrant a lot of down votes but after watching HiRez's stream on mixer I dont get what all the fuss is about. Aside from the obvious traffic the website gets in comparison to twitch's I think it is just as good if not better. So far its run on 1080p with no stutters at all and I also feel the stream and chat layout is more aesthetically pleasing. The level up system is kind of unique and similar to the way twitch loot works with the ability to unlock things such emotes. I dont really see a problem wirh mixer aside from the aforementioned lack of traffic. If Smite can figure out how to increase that I think they'll do great on mixer. But I feel as though people who wont want mixer just because its not twitch would not be disappointed if they tuned in TL;DR: Mixer isnt nearly as bad as people think. HiRez just needs to efficiently make sure they can increase viewing and I think it will be successful. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 01:21 PM PST I feel most warriors in the game, are pretty balanced out. Some better in certain situations then others but they have their advantages and disadvantages, but Guan is horrible against any warrior excepet Tyr as he can't be knocked back when channeling his 3, but since Nike's buff on her clear. She is a much better choice. Guan's healing is pretty decent, especially if you build up his passive, but the passive is a chore to get up as it requires 20 stacks. Really would like to see Guan back into more games. Maybe buffing his passive and lowering the amount of stacks needed in order to get the added effect on his abilities, and increasing the damage and scaling on his clear. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 06 Mar 2018 11:33 AM PST Hey, I already have the Godpack, the Loki skin and his voice pack, but I was still able to buy the Legendary God Pack at the full price (purely a mistake), on top of this, you can keep buying it over and over, for the FULL price. This shouldn't happen, nor should they use this practice. I've asked support for a refund, but they said they're not going to refund any items that have been purchased accidentally. On top of this, they are aware that you can buy it over and over, at the full price, despite the fact that you have parts of the bundle. This shouldn't happen, it's just not normal. [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| [Random Silliness] Sobek Summons Me Back to Smite Posted: 06 Mar 2018 09:20 PM PST (I figured I would post this for the lulz, as I got back into Smite recently on PS4 for Season 5...the point is, this is meant purely for much-needed comic relief. ;) Enjoy!) I languish at the PlayStation Store page for Smite. Should I? Or shouldn't I? I hesitate about re-downloading it. I am about to close the page. Then I hear a splash. That's strange. I don't have a pool in my apartment. I look towards the sound. What? Sobek, the Crocodile God of the Nile?!? Here??? As Sobek is a God, I bow my head to him. In return, he gives me a divine vision. And by divine vision I mean a bitchslap across my face. After I pick myself up, he grabs my head with his clawed left hand and puts my ear right next to his snout. He yells: " BOI You were enjoying yourself in this game! And yet you let a select few douchebags with small members scare you away." His croc breath is overpowering. But...why should I return when people clearly hate me in this game? His left hand drops me. And bitchslaps me again. "F THE HATERS. You wanna learn how to deal with toxic people, you gotta meet them first. And when they piss on your crap play, crap on their piss. They make fun of you? Show them how much fun it is to be locked in my jaws and taken for a ride. The haters will make you toughen up and give you crocodile scales. EARN YOUR SCALES!" But what about bugs? I keep hearing about bugs on social media— Backhand. Different from the bitchslap. "F THE BUGS! Crocodiles adapt and overcome. You didn't think we crocodiles survived the Jurassic by complaining about the OP dinosaurs and sh-t falling from the sky, did you? We adapted. We overcame. And you're gonna do the same or else this tiny leg of mine is gonna find itself up your bunghole!" But...skins, I have no money— Tail whip. "How many more excuses you got? Gimme another one! I double croc dare ya!" At this point I redownloaded Smite. Who am I to argue with a God/giant crocodile/pimp? I play Sobek my first couple of games back. Win the first, lose the second. "YOU THE MAN NOW, CROC! My work here is done." Splash. With that, Sobek is gone. Now who's gonna clean up the water damage in my apartment? [link] [comments]  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Which god made you fall in love with smite? Posted: 06 Mar 2018 07:52 AM PST For me, it was Bellona. She is my Bae <3 Edit: Thanks everyone for sharing with me your favorite gods. Some of them surprised me, but it was really cool to read about how all of you fell in love with the game. To those of you, I did not reply too, I did read each and everyone of your posts, so thanks again for sharing ^ [link] [comments]  |
![[Skin Concept] GenieDusa](https://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/w88aJkfJXBeSKiq7HYw4OvJCdD4wn4cX74dACS5AjE0.jpg "[Skin Concept] GenieDusa")
![[link]](https://i.imgur.com/zZMzT4o.png){kind=link}
![[link]](https://i.redd.it/mhl8x89y99k01.png){kind=link}
![[link]](https://i.imgur.com/2BRxYmv.png){kind=link}
![[link]](https://i.redd.it/v4rn3i2r77k01.jpg){kind=link}
![[link]](https://i.redd.it/epqp8k4cv9k01.jpg){kind=link}
| You are subscribed to email updates from Smite. To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
| Google, 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, United States | |
Post a Comment