Skyrim - The Vampire in the loading screen looks like he has to sneeze but it just isn't coming


The Vampire in the loading screen looks like he has to sneeze but it just isn't coming

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 08:53 PM PST

When you're about to start a new playthrough on a new PC.

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 12:30 PM PST

I️ just played for 12 hours straight and here I️ am in bed trying to sleep by my BRAIN WONT GET THE NIRNROOT HUM OUT OF MY HEAD.

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 08:22 PM PST

justskyrimthings

submitted by /u/LoveLikeHeLoves
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why is he so hard to find

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 06:07 PM PST

What Skyrim on the Nintendo Switch is like.

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 04:09 PM PST

Feel like I walked though The Rift the other day...

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 04:54 PM PST

Markarth went absolutely nuts. Craziest experience in Skyrim ever.

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 08:21 AM PST

Today I had perhaps the craziest experience ever in Skyrim. Warning: this story is ridiculous and very long.

Before I start the story, I should probably explain the mods I have installed, as they're what caused the madness you're about to read: I have a mod that makes between 1 and 3 dragons attack cities. I have a mod that generates massive bandit raids on cities and adds in "mercenary guards" to defend cities from them. The mercenary guards look exactly like regular ones, except they stay outside the city walls and wear steel armor. Finally I've a mod that adds alarm bells into all the main cities, that are sounded when the city is under attack. It makes civilians run away and hide and it puts all the guards on high alert.

So I'd just reached Markarth, and was off to get some of the bloodiest beef in the Reach, and at the gates of the city there was a massive bandit raid going on. A good 30 bandit archers, raiders and mages were fighting around 25 mercenary guards and 15ish regular guards. It was nuts. Me being me, I grabbed my bow and started helping the guards.

About halfway through the battle, I accidentally shot a mercenary guard. As they're not part of the regular guards, I got no bounty. However it did turn all the mercenary guards hostile towards me...

So when the bandits were finally dealt with, every single mercenary guard instantly turned hostile and ran at me screaming shit like "YOU'LL MAKE A FINE RUG, CAT" and "YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE!" I stood no chance at all; there were at least 20 of the bastards, all heavily armored and armed with dwarven weapons. So naturally I legged it into the city.

This is where it gets really crazy.

As I enter Markarth, followed by 20+ angry mercenary guards, not one dragon, not two, but THREE dragons swoop from the sky and start attacking the city. The alarm bell is sounded, the civilians all go nuts, and every single guard in the city goes on high alert.

It was utter carnage. Half the mercenary guards got caught up in the dragon attack, the other half kept chasing me and all the while fire is raining from the sky and civilians are running around like headless chicken. All the regular city guards are going mad too, trying to kill 3 dragons at once.

I managed to lead the mercenary guards that were still on my tail up to the highest point in the city, where I Fus Ro Dah'd them all off a ledge into the market below. That left me with 3 dragons and half of the mercenary guards on my ass.

Somehow during the battle, one of the mercenary guards had hit a regular Markarth guard. So now the two guard factions were fighting each other, and the 2 remaining dragons (one had been killed at this point).

Never in my life have I seen so much carnage. 15ish mercenary guards VS all of the Markarth guards VS 2 dragons ALL AT ONCE! I managed to take out one of the other dragons and a couple of mercenary guards, while the guards took care of the other dragon (and each other.)

When the three dragons were finally dead, the two factions of guards turned all of their attention to the other faction, and slaughtered each other in the streets. As the dragons were all dead, the alarm bell stopped sounding and all the citizens came out from their hiding places, idly stood by and watched the guards have a full on civil war with each other.

In the end, only I and one other regular Markarth guard survived. He looked at me, said "heard about you and your honeyed words," and walked off to continue his lonely patrol. I came away from the experience with 3 dragon souls, and 5 inheritance letters. That's right. FIVE.

To top it all off, none of the mercenary guards bodies will de-spawn, and for some reason one of the dragons skeletons hasn't either. So now every time I come back to Markarth, there are bodies littered all over the market place, the skeleton of a dragon sitting outside Cidhna mine and civilians walking around saying "oh, what happened?" And "what a waste!"

Absolutely fucking nuts.

submitted by /u/HarriTheMoo
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So my dad has started playing skyrim...

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 10:13 PM PST

One part of me can't stand to watch as he walks into walls and flails in combat, only winning by accident, the other is in tears over the fact that he has instantly become more interested in making gold than actually completing quests. He just recently discovered that people let you take their stuff after doing them favours. He now insists on taking everything that isn't nailed to the ground, and selling it. I ask him why he's taking every wooden plate, piece of bread, and kettle, and he just tells me "Because I can.". He has also called skyrim the greatest waste of time he's ever played.

I think I've just created my own personal shekelstein.

submitted by /u/MaximusElectissimus
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A screenshot i took that i use as my wallpaper.

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 06:03 PM PST

I see your Texas Heart Shot and raise you with Extreme Fishing!

Posted: 21 Nov 2017 03:01 AM PST

Faendal, the Greatest Hero (a little story I tell whenever I talk about Skyrim)

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 07:56 PM PST

So when I started a new game skyrim one time I decided to play a wood elf thief type character. Escape Helgen with Ralof and end up in Riverwood as always. Instead of making a beeline for whiterun, I stuck around Riverwood to explore and see if there was any cool quests I ignored. One of these quests of course is the spat between Sven and, my man, Faendal. Because Bosmer pride, I take Faendals side, and Camilla never talks to Sven again. I realise then that Faendal is now a companion that teaches archery, meaning I can take money back from him and get 5 free points into archery a level. Awesome, I take him as a companion, get him fitted with armour at the forge in Riverwood and we go on our way to Whiterun.

Cut to about a month later IRL, I've been playing skyrim most days for at least an hour, and I've become really attached to Faendal. I never dismissed him so he came with me through the whole thieves guild questline (he's a nightingale in my eyes), fought in sovngarde with me against Alduin and had accompanied me in every fight he could. He had saved my life more than once with his quick archery. I had him decked out in full dragonscale armour with (if I remember correctly) Auriels bow. He was a relatively weak companion so he needed all the gear he could get (I knew he was weak in meta, in my head he was as celebrated as the dragonborn all throughout Tamriel).

One day, one fateful and awful day, I took a job from Dragonsreach to clear bandits out of Valtheim towers. For those unfamiliar it is a pair of towers connected by a bridge over a river that quickly drops into waterfall. Bandit clearing is usually a quick job for a bit of cash and maybe some soul gems, so I thought nothing of it when I arrived at Valtheim. I send Faendal to fight his way up one tower and I send to clear the other. As soon as I got in to my tower I knew a mistake had been made.

These bandits were fucking strong.

I don't know why but they were really tough for some reason. They had way more reinforcements than usual, plus really competent mages and heavy armour. I managed my way up with some difficulty and ran out onto the bridge taking potshots at some frost mages, using techniques that trusty old Faendal taught me. I turn around and see Faendal is on the other side of the bridge, having a straight up duel with the bandit chief, using his little (heavily enchanted) dagger against him for some reason. I turn back and take care of my wizard problem, and in the time I deal with that, I turn and see Faendal take the final swing at the chief. It was over, a quick look at Faendals health put him at one power attack from the guy from death. He had done well.

I start to go collect loot, but as I look away, I hear the twang of a bow and the sound of an arrow making contact. Faendal is on the ground, one knee, still breathing. At the top of the tower he fought up was an archer taking shots at us. I drew my bow and fired up at him as fast as I could, but he only needed to hit Faendal once more. As if in slow motion, the bandits second arrow found it's mark in Faendals chest. Faendaks body was thrown back by the impact of the shot and he was blown into the river and over the waterfall. I immediately jumped after him. Who cared if I died, life wasn't worth living without Faendal. But I didn't die. I hit the water and went over the waterfall in search of my friend. He was a few hundred metres down stream, his body had washed up on the riverbed. I pulled it out and dragged it for a while until I found a suitable clearing in the forest.

It was a quick funeral. I left his armour on, it was his after all, and sat an arrangement of flowers around his body. He's still there. Sometimes when I feel nostalgic I log onto that character and go back to that burial place.

A companion is more than a tool for battle. It's a true friend you share all your battles with, and the closest thing you have to a friend in the cold land of skyrim. So next time you pick one, I hope you consider Faendal, the Greatest Hero.

submitted by /u/Ghouliath
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Wearing Stormclack officer suits is weird,like a bear is eating a tiger,sure Nazeem is making fun of this.

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 06:48 PM PST

Occasional burst of static audio problem in Switch version is a known bug that will be patched.

Posted: 21 Nov 2017 04:15 AM PST

This pic is about two things: What Thalmors are good for and how to not use a sword

Posted: 21 Nov 2017 07:43 AM PST

The Daedric Prince of Knowledge and Memory has graced me on this realm of internet

Posted: 21 Nov 2017 01:49 AM PST

"After a long trek all the way across Skyrim, contending with bears, dragons, brigands and the cold (Frostfall), I've finally made it to Fort Dawnguard. Time to see if Isran will let me join..."

Posted: 21 Nov 2017 12:09 AM PST

i became part of the thieves guild

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 09:35 PM PST

I painted Misty grove, let me know what you think :)

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 12:52 PM PST

A girl after my own heart

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 11:56 AM PST

Ugliest name in the English alphabet? ..Keith, the False Dragonborn.

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 01:27 PM PST

Even after all these years Skyrim never stop surprising me

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 10:08 AM PST

To all the newcomers of Skyrim I want to tell you something about Smithing and Enchanting.

Posted: 21 Nov 2017 05:59 AM PST

Many new players seek to level up these two skills as fast as possible and search for guides for that. My advice is that you take it slow. Don't go out of your way to level them up immediately Like crafting thousand daggers/bows or exploiting Dawnstar Chest.

I know some people may want to make the perfect armor or enchanted gear but here's the thing.. it dulls the game and will not feel like a challenge anymore. Even on Legendary. The best way is to try to maintain a constant level across your skills. It is time consuming but much more enjoyable.

submitted by /u/SchlongsOfSkyrim
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They didn't even try.

Posted: 20 Nov 2017 10:56 AM PST

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